Part of My Life

While sitting on the couch I wonder if I am truly happy with the way my life has turned out. The quick answer would be "yes". But as I think more and more about it of course there are several things I wish I could change. I am sure that we all do. When I was about 2 years old my parents divorced due to my fathers alcohol problem. He became very violent when he drank. I have 2 older brothers and 2 younger half brothers. Growing up I always wanted to have a family that never argued. Although unrealistic it was still something I strive for everyday. In elementary school I was an A/B student. I started playing Flute in fifth grade. Band for me was a way to escape. I could listen to classical music for hours. Closing my eyes and imagining the story that was being told by the music. Junior High was when the awkward stage set in. I began to distance myself from the academically advanced kids. My education began to slip though my fingers. I found it hard to concentrate on anything. Reading a question multiple times did not seem to make a difference. I would read literature over and over again just to realize I could not remember what I had just read. English began to be one of my most hated subjects. I have never been able to understand sentence structure. I have picked up bits and pieces a long the way but have a long way to go. But I always understood music. High school is when it really began to go down hill. Hanging out with the wrong type of people. Skipping school, staying out late, not doing homework. My mom worked all the time to pay the bills. There were a lot of weekends that she was gone from Friday to Monday. I had met Brian my husband over the internet in March of 1999. We decided to meet May 15th, 1999, one day before my 18th birthday. We started dating June 25th of 1999. I found out I was three months pregnant with Ana July 2, 1999. We went to talk to the Vice Principal about my graduation options.Eventually it had gotten to the point that I would have to take an extra year of High school in order for me to graduate. Since I was pregnant with Ana at the time I opted to get my HSED. My goal was to finish by the time Ana was born. I finished December 16, 1999, Ana was born January 4th, 2000. Brian and I lived 3.5 hours away from each other for the first year of our relationship. In May of 2000 I moved to Eau Claire, WI to be closer to him. Brian still had a year of college left to finish at UWEC. The first year living in Eau Claire was a depressing time for me. With family 3.5 hours away no friends and an infant to take care of on my own. There was a lot of time spent being depressed. I managed to get through it though and Brian graduated the following May. Not sure where he was going to get a job Brian moved in with Ana and I till we knew where we were going. After a month with no job he was hired at UWEC by his old boss. I remember how happy he was. October 5th Brian asked me to marry him. We were married August 3, 2002 in Monroe, WI. The first year of marriage was hard for the both of us. I am sure that every other word was divorce. I was diagnosed with having ADHD that next year and have been on medication for it ever since. We have been going strong now for almost 9 years married with a total of 12 years together with 2 beautiful daughters Ana and Lisa. I wouldn't give it up for anything.

Being diagnosed with ADHD has helped me to understand why I had such a hard time in my life. Even when I was really trying to pay attention I was unable to. It is and was so frustrating to see others do everyday tasks with little effort. People would accuse me of not listening to them even though I was. It's not that I did not want to. I just have a hard time getting myself to focus on one task. A lot of the time I will be doing 3 or more things at once. It is just so frustrating. Over the years I have found different things to help me deal with this issue. I have been proactive with Ana's life and getting her the help she needs to succeed. Ana was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago. I have known for years that she has it but it wasn't till last year that it was really starting to affect everyone. Now that she is on medication for it things have been getting better. I also have been teaching her everything that I have learned about having ADHD and how to not let it ruin her life. We received a letter a week ago that she is being tested for taking Advanced classes in 6th grade (Pre-Algebra,(7th Algebra)8th Geometry for HS credit). I tell her everyday how proud I am of everything she has accomplished. I still struggle everyday with having ADHD. I just hope I can make it a little easier for her.